"I'm an optimist because I believe that I'm right." - George W. Bush
"I'm about to lose my dignity on a slippery weiner." - Brittany, Big Brother
"I think I've acquired a drinking problem. It's ok, though, I only have to work three days this week." - some girl, just now.
"She put everything she had, all 120 lbs and 40 tattoos, behind it." - James, Big Brother
"I believe we have become paralyzed by our desire to be loved." -Chris Christie
"I will speak until I can no longer speak." - Rand Paul
"I am only fit for the fairy folk." - Lucas Chance
"Ultimately, it's just a tool, like a fancy socket wrench." - Jesse Bishop
"A fun night, until you hear two pairs of running feet, and a girl screaming bloody murder for a guy to get off her." - Ben Bolton
"Tyler, Tyler, Tyler, quit being yourself and be someone better." - Walter Ingram
"She is noted to be chewing on the vertebrae of a large mammal." - Deb Guffey
"Man gets sucked into sinkholes." - The news
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